Caroline's Journal
by LoveStoryMermaid
Summary: 8x13-15 tag. Caroline had just got done talking to everyone who had know a victim of one of Stefan's murders. She wasn't as heartless as Matt made her seem and she needed a minute. Caroline's thoughts on events at the end of the series through her journal to Elena. Assumes more of a time stretch between events in 8x14.
1. Bad News

Caroline's Journal

Caroline went home and started and crying. The second she crossed the threshold into the Salvatore's freaking mansion she started crying. This place simultaneously was and was not her home. It had become her home. Stefan had promised her a future here with him and she had embraced it. It was becoming their home together and she'd been silly enough to start to consider it so. But, it wasn't _her_ home. She wanted to be in her childhood home. The home that was hers by all rights. She wanted to be in the home she'd always the known where she could run to her mother, cry in her arms and tell her everything would be okay. But, that home was almost as gone as this home she'd made with Stefan. Her mother would never be there to comfort her again. Alaric and the girls were there now, and she was so happy to have them call it home. But, she couldn't let them see her like this. Particularly not her girls.

So, Caroline made her way to one of the guest rooms in the gigantic boarding house. She couldn't be in Stefan's room. Not right now. The second she was there, she fell to her knees and started sobbing. This couldn't be happening. How could she have done that? The tears kept flowing as she finally allowed herself to see what she had told Matt she had refused to all afternoon. Bodies upon broken bodies upon twisted bodies, all dead. At Stefan's hand. People upon families upon townspeople-some she had known-that were forever torn apart by an unexplainable death. Deaths that she had covered for and lied. To protect Stefan. After everything he had done.

She was still sobbing. Matt was starting to make a little sense about how he felt vampirism was a death sentence. None of this would ever be happening if Stefan wasn't a vampire. If _she_ wasn't a vampire. No matter how hard she tried to be good, death still followed her. She was covering for Stefan because she knew him, because, because…she loved him. Somehow, Caroline knew that this situation never would have come about if she had been human. Even if it had, she didn't believe human her would have tolerated this. She'd understand what Matt was saying. But, she did love Stefan. Didn't she? How could she really love someone who had the capacity to murder hundreds without remorse? But, yet, did she not have the same capacity? Had she not tried to do something along the same when she'd turned off her humanity? Yes, somehow, and almost inexplicably after what she'd seen this afternoon, Caroline realized she did still want to marry him. Even if she wasn't one for traditional, she knew the traditional vows by heart: for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. Well, she couldn't logically explain it right now; but, she at least knew those vows to be true. She loved Stefan no matter how bad it got. Because, despite what Matt may be saying, she could also see the good in him. A part of her wanted to say this wasn't Stefan. But, Matt was right. It was. It was 100% Stefan, just the very worst part of him. And she had to learn to live with that. To help him through it when he was at his very worst. Because, she truly, unconditionally loved the best part of Stefan beyond words. The best part of Stefan was who was going to need her to help him get through this. The worst part of Stefan could never make her forget how loving, how kind, how very good the best part of Stefan really was.

Caroline was still heartbroken at the moment, but the tears were slowing. They wouldn't ruin the pages of her diary entry. Caroline may not have her mother. She didn't really have her best friend. But, she could tell them both about her day. They'd want to hear it.

_Dear Elena_,

I wish you were here. I really need someone to tell me things are going to be okay and I'm not crazy for believing that right now. But, I promised myself I was going to tell you the good news first. You would be so proud of Damon, Elena. Yes, I said Damon. You remember our Miss Mystic Falls? You and me both secretly at each other's throats for the title. Damon escorting you when his brother wasn't there. Of course you remember. And so does Damon. Can you believe it's that time of year again already? Sybil, being the royal bitch she is, made sure that she met Damon there in a blue dress. But, you know what? Damon wasn't having it. He told her to go back to hell. All because of you. He wouldn't let her ruin the memory of the day the two of you actually realized there might be something between you. It was stronger than any of things Sybil tried to show him. And, so, because of you, Elena, Damon's free of her.

To explain what happens next, you need to know about Stefan. Stefan's human now. While working for Cade, Stefan had gone off the deep end of the Ripper. Elena, Stefan did so much damage without meaning to. I just spent the day staring what that meant in the face. He murdered hundreds of people, children, families in and outside Mystic Falls. Elena, Stefan killed Enzo. And then he was going to try to kill you for Cade. That's when Bonnie gave him the Cure. I'm trying to come to terms with all that because human Stefan needs me to be there for him. But, even though I've told you I love him, and I do, it's so hard. How did you do it with Damon? How did you come to terms with the worst parts of him?

Yes, Damon's free of Sybil. And beyond that you would also be so very proud of him for what he did with that freedom. But, Elena, that means he's Damon again. The Damon that would die for his little brother. Before Enzo, Stefan had compelled Matt to ring a bell twelve times and that would destroy Mystic Falls. It didn't happen. Matt's okay. But, Matt did ring the bell eleven times. It was enough for King of Hell Cade, who loves nothing more than seeing people suffer, to come here. And now that Stefan's human, the work deal Cade made with Damon and Stefan is off and Cade feels cheated. He demanded a soul. He let Damon choose: Stefan, or you. Elena, Damon choose himself and Cade accepted. Elena, I'm so sorry. Damon's dead.

_A few tears ended up dotting the page after all as Caroline started crying again. She'd essentially just defended Damon and yelled at Stefan. Stefan was human. Enzo was dead because of Stefan. Damon was dead, and she had almost ended the diary entry to Elena like that. She couldn't do that to Elena. _

You're probably not reading this right now. But, I can't leave you with that. Nothing changes it; believe me, I know. But, Elena. Damon finally did something selfless and he could only have learned that from you. You don't need me to tell you Damon loves you so very much. You changed him, Elena. He'd want you to know that. We all love you so much.

You taught us to see the good in people. I love and miss you so much.

_Caroline_.

ELENA! HE'S NOT DEAD! DAMON'S **NOT** DEAD. -2/28/2017


	2. Good News

Caroline had dashed back to her room so quickly. She had almost started to rip out the bottom of her last journal entry to Elena, but she thought Elena still would want to know what Damon had done. So, Caroline simply added those words immediately in post script to the bottom of the journal entry and added a new date next to it. The difference of a few days. The last entry was so much horrible news. This entry was nothing but joy.

_Elena_,

I'm so so so sorry for the scare. He scared us, too, for what it's worth. Yes, even me. Stefan may be human, but humans have this knack of surprising you. Cade had been distracted with Damon. Stefan took the opportunity to kill him with the one weapon we had that could: a knife of ash and bone. When Cade died, it must have released the link and any deals that had been made with him. Who really cares? When Cade died, Damon was back! He's completely fine.

And, Elena, I'm getting married! I'm getting _married_! Yea, there might be something about it being a tr… you know what, no. Damon can tell you all about his little freaking scheme with _my_ wedding. This is going to be a happy entry. All you need to know is Stefan and I are going to make this work. Elena, of course we're going to make it work. I love him. And we're getting married. My dress is gorgeous. A floor length princess style ballgown with a tulle bottom and covered with a delicate lace embroidery that pulls up to a delicate strap over the shoulders.

Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. There was a note with those timeless superstitions left for me on the table with something old circled: an oval necklace with a woman's face carved in white. I don't know whose it is or it's story, but it's beautiful. Bonnie, blessed, blessed Bonnie came through and gifted me a something new: a golden, sparkling tiara that links around the head. Damon, Elena, Damon loaned me your necklace for something borrowed. He wanted me to know you were here with me today. Of course, I knew you would be, but that meant a lot to me. And something blue. The one thing I didn't have to acquire. Who would have thought my daylight ring would become something so special for my wedding day?

What is he doing?! Elena, I have to go. Someone appears to have left Damon unsupervised with my wedding party's layout and decorations and he looks like he's never touched streamers or tied flowers in his life. Yea, he probably hasn't. There's Lizzie and Josie looking gorgeous in their soft peach flower girl outfits, which they are totally disregarding. They're running through the gardens like it's a magical tea party. Yea, I have to go. It's going to be a wonderful day.

_Caroline_


End file.
